First subject of critical analysis is Ashlee Simpson. Ashlee Simpson's playful blend of dewy-eyed, dim-witted lyrics and alternative rock (actually, it's just pop garbed as rock) is selling like Trojan condoms on new year's eve. Sure, the girl can sing. But all pop divas have to be able to sing in order to apply the notion that they are not really endowment-less when they really are. If you thought Jessica Simpson was the sonic tantamount of Barbie, then Ashlee Simpson is the musical vis-a-vis of Kelly.

My next subject of review is Green Day. Green Day is being spouted off as greats now. Finally, the punk rockers have an opera. Jesus christ man, when did the world get turn into an hourglass and get turned upside down? Green Day does not know how to make a "rock opera". I'm sorry to dissapoint everyone, but it's the truth. Now I'll admit, Billy Joe can sure as hell right an infectious song, with crafty lyrics, but that's about as far as it goes. The instrumentation on this album is still average, whether you'd like to intromit it or not, it's the truth. I liked Green Day much better when they weren't reaching for clouds that can't be clasped.

I'll give Green Day credit again though, as Good Charlotte tried their hand at a concept album, and the outcome is the most unintentionally hilarious album of all time. At least Billy Joe can write lyrics, but Joel Madden has just reaffirmed that he is, in fact, a dumbass. Maybe he didn't write all the lyrics, shit I don't know for sure. I don't check through their lyrical booklet for information that isn't a necessity to me. Either way, Good Charlotte suck more cock than a crackhead with no money.

Other failures of this year include Papa Roach's "Getting Away With Murder", which is over-produced mainstream rock at it's best, Breaking Benjamin's "We're Not Alone Here", and Chevelle's "This Type Of Thinking (Could Do Us In)". Everyone of these cds is so predictable it's frustratingly bedevilling. Also, since this won't leave my mind, I might as well make it: the paranthesis in the title of the Chevelle album are unnecessary, and you guys hit the nail on the head; that type of thinking not only could do you in, it probably will. I give Chevelle one more album before they completely fall out of the radar of MTV and all of it's loyal followers. Oh yeah, Ja Rule's cd sucked too.

Now as I promised, I'll deflate the big head you guys probably all are certain I have, and actually talk about the good music that came about in 2004. First off, I'd like to say that Incubus is a much better band than I intended. Their latest album, "A Crow Left Of The Murder", didn't exactly pin me down, but when I heard their benefaction to the Halo 2 OST, I was indeed besoted. Incubus is defintley a band I will be watching in the future.

One of the cds I enjoyed too much this year was by a duo dubbed The Dissociatives. The Dissociatives are a side project of Silverchair's Daniel Johns and producer Paul Mac. This album is truly a diamond in a mine of muddled muck. The album at times sounds like Radiohead, and then at other points sounds like Pink Floyd. But in the end it's obvious The Dissociatives are something all their own. Daniel Johns and Paul Mac are both implausibly talented, and I do hope to see more from this side project in the future. Haven't heard em? Pick up the album, or at least check out the song "Forever And A Day", which is probably my favorite song of 2004.

Eminem. He's everywhere nowadays, and if you don't know him already, your first name probably begins with S and ends with tupid. Eminem's "Encore" is nowhere near the classics of yesteryear, such as his "Slim Shady EP/LP", and his "Marshall Mathers LP", though it is still a strong rap record. It seems as if Eminem is slowly but surely locomoting to his hip-hop roots, and leaving the violent rap of his past behind. Though it is pretty obvious that Eminem will have to do something different soon if he wants to stay around much longer, it's also evident that Eminem is a talented songwriter, who has had more staying power than most artists today can claim to have. And that's an achievement all it's own.

Other honorable mentions include U2's latest album (yeah bitch all you want, it was good), Sum 41's "Chuck" (even though it did sound very close to Metallica at times), E.Town Concrete's "Made For War" (compare it to other albums from this year and I think you'll agree), and last but not least, Kanye West's "College Dropout".

With each passing year it seems that there are less and less good albums. Perhaps music in general is on a decline, or perhaps we just hit a sonic pothole and our automobile's tire went flat. I hope it's the latter.

-g0d

(And by the way, keep your dress on Lindsay Lohan. Everytime it falls off it tempts me to break out a pen and complete the connect-the-dots puzzle on your torso.)